Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Dear Santa

Dear Santa, I have been a very good librarian this year. I have conscientiously weeded the collection, and purchased wonderful new materials for a variety of interests and needs. Because I've been so good, I have a long wish list.
For Christmas, I would like publishers to stop issuing library-unfriendly packaging. That means no more video cases made entirely of biodegradable cardboard which will melt like a lozenge as soon as a patron drops it in the wet parking lot (Massage Practice for Infants). It means no more CDs which don't have their title and/or artist anywhere on the disc, forcing poor librarians to write the title in teeny tiny letters on the clear plastic center of the disc (Where the Fins Meet the Frets). It means no more books with separate inserts that are vitally necessary for understanding the plot of the story but will get hopelessly lost by the time the third patron takes the book home (The Rose Labyrinth). And it means no more multi-disc DVDs that come in elaborately constructed cases that unfold to something the size of a dining room table, and with a flimsy plastic window, to boot! (The Ten Commandments 50th Anniversary Collection). Don't even get me started on spiral-bound books whose pages tear out more easily than the checks in my checkbook.
If you bring me my wish for Christmas, Santa, I promise not to shush teenage patrons, to wake sleeping patrons more soothingly, and to smile politely if a tourist asks me what I do here all winter long. Merry Christmas!

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